That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
