respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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