I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
