She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
