I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
