i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
