She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
