God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
