Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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