Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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