Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
We need a shit load of segways right now
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
