We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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