i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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