I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
