Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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