positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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