Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
