I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
