I bet he comes in French.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
