Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
