To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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