okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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