i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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