I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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