I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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