Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
