Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
