We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
