hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
