some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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