Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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