Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
