theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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