I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
