im about as happy as oj after his trial
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
