i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
