Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
there is puke in my bra ... again
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