omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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