Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
