Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
