am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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