So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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