Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
