The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
