My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
