Say something about gay babies.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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