Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
She told me I should be a condom model.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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