do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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