i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
