did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Randomize
