she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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