I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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