Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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