Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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