i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
