stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
