Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
