I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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